Gotta get away from me..

and maybe you.. but who knows.. I'll find out soon enough.

When I state that, I say it as I'm going on a journey to rejuvenate myself. I want to push out these new found attributes and bring back my old, good qualities.

-cut out all swearing
-re-open my heart to open love (temporarily been shut off due to some trauma)
-stop being so hard on myself..learn to love all of me..

there's much more but those are the main things..

I've noticed these qualities expose themselves and they're making me dislike myself even more.

I'm on the brink of depression, I can tell.. sure I laugh, sure I can still smile... but I've become so apathetic and numb to everything.. to the point that it's,,,well it's quite heart-breaking. I've tried so hard to never fall into that rut again and somehow I'm right outside of it again. I'm not sure what's causing it... but i think it's someone... or at least I know some things with them have led me to start thinking differently again, despite their best efforts... some of their actions have pushed me in a negative manner. I've gotta fix that particular section of my life with them and hopefully that'll help..

I don't want to head towards the dark again. I dislike it so much.

I guess this isn't so much a blog rather than some goals and a reminder to myself to keep on track.

Hopefully, soon I will have a good long blog. I want to pour my heart out on the page in some philosophical spiel that will open the eyes of anyone who reads it. Something to intrigue the mind. But before I can do so, I've got to get some of the clutter out of my mind that is blocking my thoughts.. as well as finish my Trig homework.. lol..

with that, I bid you, or really me, adieu