Created a new blog and changed this blogs domain name.
so my NEW blog is erraticphenomenon.blogspot.com
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Every blade of grass differs, who is to say which is greener?
Everyone loves the pursuit. The chase.
It's a rush, knowing you may achieve something new and exciting.
But why, WHY does that change for some people once they get what they want? How do you go from complete dedication to lack there of?
I feel as though people are never satisfied; no matter how good some have it, they still want more--which leads to narcissitic actions and constant dissatisfaction/competition/envy.
You begin to want more, you neglect what you already have..
Take life in stride, appreciate what you have...be humbled by what you've been graced with, including both possessions and people within your life.
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity. Robert A. Heinlein
It's a rush, knowing you may achieve something new and exciting.
But why, WHY does that change for some people once they get what they want? How do you go from complete dedication to lack there of?
I feel as though people are never satisfied; no matter how good some have it, they still want more--which leads to narcissitic actions and constant dissatisfaction/competition/envy.
You begin to want more, you neglect what you already have..
Take life in stride, appreciate what you have...be humbled by what you've been graced with, including both possessions and people within your life.
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity. Robert A. Heinlein
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
A fresh start
The pins are out. The tethers are unbound.
I took all the damage I could take; it's over now and I feel great. In the light of this new happiness I feel as though I am on the path to the restoration of my old self.
I've realized what the term 'Love hurts' means, or at least what it means to me. Love hurts when it's not returned. Love hurts when you give it and the receiver doesn't think it's enough. Love hurts because it's what everyone wants, but not everyone receives.
I realized that the good I was doing in my past relationship was not enough for him or I to be satisfied. I realized that I had the short end of the stick for a while and that I was no longer in love with him, rather the idea of having someone love me. He decided he was going different places than I. He decided that the relationship had major issues. He realized he wasn't treating me well. We realized we both have things to work on. We decided to deviate from each others life destinations, but still stay within walking distance of each others paths. Friends at long last.
I've stumbled across a new relationship and it feels great. It's the first time in YEARS that someone has honestly put effort into building a stronger relationship with me, get to know me, or even listen to me.
I finally feel worth the fight to someone else. It's a great feeling--to love and be loved. No manipulations, no insults; support and communication!
I lost myself along the way in the past and now I've finally got the motivation to become everything I once was and then some:).
I took all the damage I could take; it's over now and I feel great. In the light of this new happiness I feel as though I am on the path to the restoration of my old self.
I've realized what the term 'Love hurts' means, or at least what it means to me. Love hurts when it's not returned. Love hurts when you give it and the receiver doesn't think it's enough. Love hurts because it's what everyone wants, but not everyone receives.
I realized that the good I was doing in my past relationship was not enough for him or I to be satisfied. I realized that I had the short end of the stick for a while and that I was no longer in love with him, rather the idea of having someone love me. He decided he was going different places than I. He decided that the relationship had major issues. He realized he wasn't treating me well. We realized we both have things to work on. We decided to deviate from each others life destinations, but still stay within walking distance of each others paths. Friends at long last.
I've stumbled across a new relationship and it feels great. It's the first time in YEARS that someone has honestly put effort into building a stronger relationship with me, get to know me, or even listen to me.
I finally feel worth the fight to someone else. It's a great feeling--to love and be loved. No manipulations, no insults; support and communication!
I lost myself along the way in the past and now I've finally got the motivation to become everything I once was and then some:).
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
It still hurts. Hurts to know that no matter what I did...no matter how hard I tried... I'd not earn your respect. Your effort. Your attention. You became what I told you was my biggest fear. You did exactly what you said you'd never do. Time together, for me, was really just time alone.
Now I am free. It took only a second for me to earn what was never achievable with you, through another. Irony.
Thankfully, we both have learned from this experience. No regrets. Everything happens for a reason--what I suffered through, furthered you--and for all that you did for me, for everything you tolerated in the beginning, for the past you helped me let go...I am furthered and forever thankful.
I hope you can find what I've found. I'd say I've got 'The Best' right now...I wish the same to you.
Now I am free. It took only a second for me to earn what was never achievable with you, through another. Irony.
Thankfully, we both have learned from this experience. No regrets. Everything happens for a reason--what I suffered through, furthered you--and for all that you did for me, for everything you tolerated in the beginning, for the past you helped me let go...I am furthered and forever thankful.
I hope you can find what I've found. I'd say I've got 'The Best' right now...I wish the same to you.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
A few words.
I fear what will happen with our generation..
Seems much of today's society --though this a bold statement, seeing that I'm only exposed to a small area... but media has shown this as well-- seems to push education, learning, ambition, the good of the whole...on the back burner.
It seems that many people my age, still don't know themselves. Now, I'm not saying I know myself fully, or that I know others well...I mean, to know someone, is a life time....thus that is not an easily achieved task--but I think we have more who are lost than those who are found.
Our society has come to love the image they portray better than being honest to themselves and who they are. I know many people who just take on bits and pieces of others lives to make themselves accepted by those people, rather than just being who they are. What do you achieve from that, other than satisfaction in keeping a person near you? You lose another person in the process. Too many people compromise what's important to them to appeal to those with different opinions.
So we have people running around, lost about what they truly want and who they actually are, all for the fact they want to appeal to everyone. At the same time, many of said people, aren't willing to work for those for whom they want to impress. Our generation is selfish. We work for ourselves and hope that things such as education are handed over to us. I've honestly seen a massive decline in the interest in knowledge in the past 3 years than I have my whole life. I know people strictly bound to technology like the internet as their only form of entertainment. There is a whole world out there to go out and be explored, but we'd rather just read about it on a computer screen. HA and reading, ACTUAL reading... seems to be a rarity. I know I had 8 guys in a class my senior year who literally never read a book besides those required in classes at school-- and that was only if they couldn't get out of reading the books themselves.
It saddens me, but then again, this is just an opinion. I feel so accomplished after going out and experiencing the world, meeting new people, trying my best to be well rounded in every area, to say I've experienced more than just the inside of my house. I think the reason why so many people in our day and age are so lonely, so depressed, or so dependent on meager recreational stimulants is because we've lost our ability to socialize and entertain ourselves on our own. We've nothing to talk about because we've not tried to expand ourselves.
I don't know. This could just be an attack of my pessimism--it doesn't usually show itself. I just feel that people are missing out. That if they embraced more of what is around them, they may feel a little better about life itself. But then again, what's fun to me is not to another.
hm. this was a terrible rant. All I'm saying is the world is a beautiful place and knowledge is a beautiful thing. Go out and embrace it. Learn and let learn.
Seems much of today's society --though this a bold statement, seeing that I'm only exposed to a small area... but media has shown this as well-- seems to push education, learning, ambition, the good of the whole...on the back burner.
It seems that many people my age, still don't know themselves. Now, I'm not saying I know myself fully, or that I know others well...I mean, to know someone, is a life time....thus that is not an easily achieved task--but I think we have more who are lost than those who are found.
Our society has come to love the image they portray better than being honest to themselves and who they are. I know many people who just take on bits and pieces of others lives to make themselves accepted by those people, rather than just being who they are. What do you achieve from that, other than satisfaction in keeping a person near you? You lose another person in the process. Too many people compromise what's important to them to appeal to those with different opinions.
So we have people running around, lost about what they truly want and who they actually are, all for the fact they want to appeal to everyone. At the same time, many of said people, aren't willing to work for those for whom they want to impress. Our generation is selfish. We work for ourselves and hope that things such as education are handed over to us. I've honestly seen a massive decline in the interest in knowledge in the past 3 years than I have my whole life. I know people strictly bound to technology like the internet as their only form of entertainment. There is a whole world out there to go out and be explored, but we'd rather just read about it on a computer screen. HA and reading, ACTUAL reading... seems to be a rarity. I know I had 8 guys in a class my senior year who literally never read a book besides those required in classes at school-- and that was only if they couldn't get out of reading the books themselves.
It saddens me, but then again, this is just an opinion. I feel so accomplished after going out and experiencing the world, meeting new people, trying my best to be well rounded in every area, to say I've experienced more than just the inside of my house. I think the reason why so many people in our day and age are so lonely, so depressed, or so dependent on meager recreational stimulants is because we've lost our ability to socialize and entertain ourselves on our own. We've nothing to talk about because we've not tried to expand ourselves.
I don't know. This could just be an attack of my pessimism--it doesn't usually show itself. I just feel that people are missing out. That if they embraced more of what is around them, they may feel a little better about life itself. But then again, what's fun to me is not to another.
hm. this was a terrible rant. All I'm saying is the world is a beautiful place and knowledge is a beautiful thing. Go out and embrace it. Learn and let learn.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
A reply I saw on a forum once...
Biblical Contradictions Forum---I just like how they replied (can't find the link anymore)
"There is no contradiction, merely a level of specifics and knowledge that is different. The contradiction is only there if you choose to make it that way.
If you go through the Bible looking for contradictions you will no doubt "find them" and if you go through these "contradictions" looking for explanations, you will no doubt find them as well. It is all based on your presupposed mindset. I look for answers. You look for questions. Either way we'll find them.
Go out in nature sometime. Look for life. You'll find it. Look for death. You'll find that too. The only requirement to be dead is that it once lived. Personally, I'd rather look for life."
Religious or not--- I like how they portrayed this.
"There is no contradiction, merely a level of specifics and knowledge that is different. The contradiction is only there if you choose to make it that way.
If you go through the Bible looking for contradictions you will no doubt "find them" and if you go through these "contradictions" looking for explanations, you will no doubt find them as well. It is all based on your presupposed mindset. I look for answers. You look for questions. Either way we'll find them.
Go out in nature sometime. Look for life. You'll find it. Look for death. You'll find that too. The only requirement to be dead is that it once lived. Personally, I'd rather look for life."
Religious or not--- I like how they portrayed this.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Instead of living for the moment, how about living in the moment?
I've been thinking a lot lately. We all have so many ambitions, loves, focuses that we speed through each and every day so that we can experience life to it's "fullest", or to get to the point we want to for that particular day; but what are we missing in those moments?
How often do you look at something? I mean truly look at it, take in it's beauty? For some, it may be more often than others, but are you really taking it in?
I laid in bed this morning, my first snow day this year, on the phone with Jake. He's speaking of how his day is already going down hill; I have the covers pulled up over my head, my hand pressed up holding them from my face and I'm staring directly up. I asked him to do the same and asked him what he saw... nothing. Absolutely nothing.
but for me it was different. I know this is a stretch but this is just how my mind works-- my room was dimly lit from the light outside peaking through the blinds... so, despite my blanket being a dark navy blue, it was lightened.... and as it lay held above me, it looked just like the sky before a storm... Like I was reaching up and touching the sky...
I enjoy making connections like that, looking at things and interpreting them in different manners... To think that some material household item could resemble the beauty of an oncoming storm...and here I am in the clouds. Jake was a tad thrown off... but that was to be expected....
Now is that beauty? Is that a moment, a connection -making a mere blanket resemble a moment in nature..- to be remember? I don't know, but I liked it.
More of what I'm getting at, is people need to slow down. Take time to make a connection with your surroundings. Enjoy the little moments.
When I have the time, I tend to go to the bedroom (in the dorm) and I sit up on our radiator, resting my back against my bedpost and I just stare out the window. Take in the whole view. The lights from the buildings, the hustle and bustle of the birds that are so often over looked, the mountains in the background, and the people. Those just going on living their lives. and I think to myself, I wish people saw the world the way I do.
I could stare out at the world forever. It is so beautiful. Whether it be the land, the man made architecture, or the people-be them misunderstood, good, bad, charming, imperfect, awkward, egotistical, oblivious...whatever they may be. It's just fascinating.
Every time I walk down the hall to our dorm, I get lost staring out the windows (they extend from beginning to the end of the hall). I'll watch snowflakes fall, sometimes just one in particular--watching it plummet to its inevitable fate to become whole with the community covering the ground. I enjoy taking it slow, taking in these views-because if you miss that moment, how will you ever get it back?
Sure, you may have homework to do, a class to go to, a date with a friend... but a minute to appreciate the beauty around you wont hurt one bit.
I'm at a loss of words on ending this because I have more to say...but I can never seem to find the words... so it'll have to end early...
How often do you look at something? I mean truly look at it, take in it's beauty? For some, it may be more often than others, but are you really taking it in?
I laid in bed this morning, my first snow day this year, on the phone with Jake. He's speaking of how his day is already going down hill; I have the covers pulled up over my head, my hand pressed up holding them from my face and I'm staring directly up. I asked him to do the same and asked him what he saw... nothing. Absolutely nothing.
but for me it was different. I know this is a stretch but this is just how my mind works-- my room was dimly lit from the light outside peaking through the blinds... so, despite my blanket being a dark navy blue, it was lightened.... and as it lay held above me, it looked just like the sky before a storm... Like I was reaching up and touching the sky...
I enjoy making connections like that, looking at things and interpreting them in different manners... To think that some material household item could resemble the beauty of an oncoming storm...and here I am in the clouds. Jake was a tad thrown off... but that was to be expected....
Now is that beauty? Is that a moment, a connection -making a mere blanket resemble a moment in nature..- to be remember? I don't know, but I liked it.
More of what I'm getting at, is people need to slow down. Take time to make a connection with your surroundings. Enjoy the little moments.
When I have the time, I tend to go to the bedroom (in the dorm) and I sit up on our radiator, resting my back against my bedpost and I just stare out the window. Take in the whole view. The lights from the buildings, the hustle and bustle of the birds that are so often over looked, the mountains in the background, and the people. Those just going on living their lives. and I think to myself, I wish people saw the world the way I do.
I could stare out at the world forever. It is so beautiful. Whether it be the land, the man made architecture, or the people-be them misunderstood, good, bad, charming, imperfect, awkward, egotistical, oblivious...whatever they may be. It's just fascinating.
Every time I walk down the hall to our dorm, I get lost staring out the windows (they extend from beginning to the end of the hall). I'll watch snowflakes fall, sometimes just one in particular--watching it plummet to its inevitable fate to become whole with the community covering the ground. I enjoy taking it slow, taking in these views-because if you miss that moment, how will you ever get it back?
Sure, you may have homework to do, a class to go to, a date with a friend... but a minute to appreciate the beauty around you wont hurt one bit.
I'm at a loss of words on ending this because I have more to say...but I can never seem to find the words... so it'll have to end early...
Friday, January 8, 2010
Sharing is caring.. hmm...right? yes.
Oh the power of Love. No seriously. It's incredible. I will honestly say, I truly agree with the saying "With Love, all things are possible.". For all of you who are still thinking incredulously, seriously consider this:
Love truly knows no boundaries:
To love someone is to put them before yourself, to love them unconditionally. Love them, flaws included.
Love means forgiveness. Love means no grudges. Love means relief. Love means no suicide -- to truly love, you must first love yourself. Not to mention, if we all put forth the love we should, then everyone would know someone loves them... but in today's society, so many seem in question. They don't feel loved, so they change themselves to please others. Or they isolate themselves. Or they take it out on others or on themselves.
Love means no more bullies. Think about that next time you want to laugh at another persons expense. Are you being loving through that action? You may not love that person as you do a family member or lover, but they're still a person...a living, breathing thing. Love them.
Love means no wars. Love means acceptance. Love means no ugly. Love means no hatred.
I'm telling you, it's an amazing thing.
And to be 'IN' love. Well that's a whole separate feat in itself. A special phenomenon that occurs between you and that special someone. If you've not experienced it, just you wait. It's quite a feeling. Knowing that no matter what, you have someone there to turn to. It's an amazing comfort. You'll begin to love things about the person that most people would overlook; the way their hair looks when they first wake, the way they smile before they kiss you, the weird quirks they have, the way they walk...everything! Small actions become the most cherished, like they way it feels when they hold you, the look they give you when it's just the two of you, the small glances from across a room, the look they give when they're worried, the little sayings that keep you going like 'have a good day' or 'you're amazing'. I can't express how such simple things take on a new meaning. Like when those cheesy sayings/scenes in movies actually mean something--i.e., I'm sure somewhere in some chick flick, the saying "you mean the world to me" has been said, and for most of us....those scenes are predictable and if you've seen enough of those films, just slightly cliche and unbelievable. However, once you actually experienced it and find someone who truly does mean everything to you... those cheesy sayings are then real to you.
It's a fascinating feeling. Having all your burdens, worries, thoughts, emotions, events, actions...shared with another person... it makes your heart light. I'm very thankful to have been able to experience what I consider to be, being "in love". I've gained so much from it, I've grown as a person and I've grown emotionally... but most of all it's helped me to love more. To be more open to loving everyone, although I've always been open minded and the kind of person to not tolerate unkindness, including in myself--in fact, mostly in myself. I just wish I could view me, as he sees me. Wouldn't that be great, to love ourselves to the height at which our family, friends or partners love us? Though maybe there are those confident and self loved enough to say they do... but what a feeling that must be. To see the beauty at which we are that at which our lovers mind has been so open to see.
I fear that we often forget our own beauty or our obsessions over our own flaws mask what is truly great about us. Then again, maybe that problem just lies with me. I have so many flaws that it scares me from being completely outgoing or open with stuff because of fear that if anyone knows all of my flaws that they may not love me anymore. I know, that's not how I or anyone should ever feel. So, why do I let it stop me? I don't know, but for this problem... I have my boyfriend there to help...I've gotten past so many things because he's helped me see some of my worth. He really has no idea how much in debt I am to him. I'm finally past...well...my past--or at least more so than I ever was.
Where am I going with this? I know, it is not nicely written... I know I digress/lose track of what I am saying... but what I mean is that when you show someone love (as my friends, family, and boyfriend have), you empower them to see things more positively, to better themselves, to better others.
You should never hold back love. Love wherever love can be given. open your hearts and in doing so you will open your minds. Love has given me a second chance to love myself. And that for me is a miracle. Love is a miracle. Don't forget that.
I have no clue how to end this blog because I do not feel accomplished in my point, the blog feels messy, and I've always sucked at conclusions to my thoughts... in fact in most situations where I speak my mind I end it with saying sorry because I don't know when to stop and then I feel as though I've kill everything I just said or that may my beliefs are stupid. I can't stand when I do that. One should always stick to their beliefs. Don't feel bad for having morale, for rambling, for sticking to your word, for not compromising.
blah that's a whole other topic though. I need to stop. ok. finished. Terrible ending. Didn't quite quench my thirst for explaining importance of showing love or how love can feel... so maybe another time...
but for now I'll take a break...I have 2 ideas for blogs-- soon to come.
Love truly knows no boundaries:
To love someone is to put them before yourself, to love them unconditionally. Love them, flaws included.
Love means forgiveness. Love means no grudges. Love means relief. Love means no suicide -- to truly love, you must first love yourself. Not to mention, if we all put forth the love we should, then everyone would know someone loves them... but in today's society, so many seem in question. They don't feel loved, so they change themselves to please others. Or they isolate themselves. Or they take it out on others or on themselves.
Love means no more bullies. Think about that next time you want to laugh at another persons expense. Are you being loving through that action? You may not love that person as you do a family member or lover, but they're still a person...a living, breathing thing. Love them.
Love means no wars. Love means acceptance. Love means no ugly. Love means no hatred.
I'm telling you, it's an amazing thing.
And to be 'IN' love. Well that's a whole separate feat in itself. A special phenomenon that occurs between you and that special someone. If you've not experienced it, just you wait. It's quite a feeling. Knowing that no matter what, you have someone there to turn to. It's an amazing comfort. You'll begin to love things about the person that most people would overlook; the way their hair looks when they first wake, the way they smile before they kiss you, the weird quirks they have, the way they walk...everything! Small actions become the most cherished, like they way it feels when they hold you, the look they give you when it's just the two of you, the small glances from across a room, the look they give when they're worried, the little sayings that keep you going like 'have a good day' or 'you're amazing'. I can't express how such simple things take on a new meaning. Like when those cheesy sayings/scenes in movies actually mean something--i.e., I'm sure somewhere in some chick flick, the saying "you mean the world to me" has been said, and for most of us....those scenes are predictable and if you've seen enough of those films, just slightly cliche and unbelievable. However, once you actually experienced it and find someone who truly does mean everything to you... those cheesy sayings are then real to you.
It's a fascinating feeling. Having all your burdens, worries, thoughts, emotions, events, actions...shared with another person... it makes your heart light. I'm very thankful to have been able to experience what I consider to be, being "in love". I've gained so much from it, I've grown as a person and I've grown emotionally... but most of all it's helped me to love more. To be more open to loving everyone, although I've always been open minded and the kind of person to not tolerate unkindness, including in myself--in fact, mostly in myself. I just wish I could view me, as he sees me. Wouldn't that be great, to love ourselves to the height at which our family, friends or partners love us? Though maybe there are those confident and self loved enough to say they do... but what a feeling that must be. To see the beauty at which we are that at which our lovers mind has been so open to see.
I fear that we often forget our own beauty or our obsessions over our own flaws mask what is truly great about us. Then again, maybe that problem just lies with me. I have so many flaws that it scares me from being completely outgoing or open with stuff because of fear that if anyone knows all of my flaws that they may not love me anymore. I know, that's not how I or anyone should ever feel. So, why do I let it stop me? I don't know, but for this problem... I have my boyfriend there to help...I've gotten past so many things because he's helped me see some of my worth. He really has no idea how much in debt I am to him. I'm finally past...well...my past--or at least more so than I ever was.
Where am I going with this? I know, it is not nicely written... I know I digress/lose track of what I am saying... but what I mean is that when you show someone love (as my friends, family, and boyfriend have), you empower them to see things more positively, to better themselves, to better others.
You should never hold back love. Love wherever love can be given. open your hearts and in doing so you will open your minds. Love has given me a second chance to love myself. And that for me is a miracle. Love is a miracle. Don't forget that.
I have no clue how to end this blog because I do not feel accomplished in my point, the blog feels messy, and I've always sucked at conclusions to my thoughts... in fact in most situations where I speak my mind I end it with saying sorry because I don't know when to stop and then I feel as though I've kill everything I just said or that may my beliefs are stupid. I can't stand when I do that. One should always stick to their beliefs. Don't feel bad for having morale, for rambling, for sticking to your word, for not compromising.
blah that's a whole other topic though. I need to stop. ok. finished. Terrible ending. Didn't quite quench my thirst for explaining importance of showing love or how love can feel... so maybe another time...
but for now I'll take a break...I have 2 ideas for blogs-- soon to come.
It's been a long day, always...
I'm so out of habit, I've fallen of the writing wagon. I'm not sure if I still have this down. Can I still wrap words into an enticing sentence? Can I still express myself better on the page than out the mouth? I'm not sure. I feel quite out of shape. I have so much bottled up in my brain that I feel as though it may burst and all that I will try to express on this blog will just become one babbling run on of incoherence. But if I don't start this up again, I feel I'll lose the art of writing well and the art or expressing my thoughts completely. I find blogging as an extreme release. It relaxes me; if taken seriously, blogging can be as intimate as those moments shared laying with a friend, lost in the most philosophical of conversations. Though what I've written on this blog shadow in comparison to what I've in my past blogs--not on this site-- which travel deep within my thoughts, nothing held back. I would really enjoy to get back into that habit. I want to go back to before I made this blog, back to the blogs of myspace, livejournal, and those written in the many diaries in my room. I want to be understood, I want my words heard (well read). I know nothing I've written in the last year as been worthy of much respect or even a second glance...but I hope maybe soon I can accomplish something that will please anyone who reads them; something to make someone serious sit down and ponder.
Anyway, well here I am. I'm back.
Anyway, well here I am. I'm back.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Fear.
I've never understood fear. Fear of spiders, fear of snakes, fear of the dark...etc etc. Same with phobias but I'm just focusing on general fear. What constitutes a fear? How far must a dislike go to become a fear? I am quite unaware of my own fears, I am stuck at a fork in the road; Do I in fact have fears or are they more or less just things I don't want to happen or don't like. For example my roommate says she does not like spiders; my roommate says she fears spiders. How far off from not liking a creature makes it into the category of a fear? When I mention spiders to my roommate she automatically grimaces and shudders. I know if a spider was within 10 ft from her she'd probably scream, thus I would constitute this as a fear. But what per say are the requirements?
My roommate says one reason she fears spiders is because some of them can kill you. This perplexes me. Can't anything kill you? YOU can kill you. Your body itself (if not helped out by outward factors or diseases) eventually kills you, so why not fear oneself? Anything and everything can kill you but it is not logical to fear everything, so why narrow it down to a creature who would rather hide from you than bite you?
If you're wondering, this has nothing to do with spiders, I just want to get to the bottom of what exactly a fear is... or at least understand if I have one or why people have them in the first place..
I know some people say they fear rejection. I don't question that as being a legit fear, but I question if we are overusing the term fear sometimes. Like I don't want to be rejected and it is something I do worry about but when I come face to face with rejection I usually just brush it off... the moments leading up to it is the worst part but I don't care afterward. It also doesn't scare the wits out of me, so does that mean it is a dislike more so than a fear?
I say I fear losing my loved ones. I fear what it will be like when they're gone...yet it is not something that I think about all the time, it is not something that terrifies me, nor is it something that comes straight to mind when thinking of death and/or fears.. I have to search to find it. It's something I don't want to happen and I dread happening but is it a legitimate fear or just something of inevitability that I just don't want happening? Fear is often considered irrational is it not? We are not automatically born with fear, it is learned. Seeing that losing a loved one is inevitable and is a rational thing to not want to happen does that too cancel it from being a fear? (keep in mind we are not talking about phobias.. just FEARS).
Do you have to be physically scared to make it a fear? or are fears just a bunch of worries and dislikes? The term fear can be used in place of worry.. so maybe that is truly all fear is. If so then I am no longer fearless, I'm chock full of fears. Let's consult dictionary.com..
"
–noun
"
All of these imply (with the small exception of numbers 3 & 4) the presence of feeling afraid or danger. I do not feel that when I think of the things I "fear". Not quite sure why number 2 is an abnormal fear of heights, what is the normal fear of it? Number 5 says cancer is a common fear... I do not want cancer, it upsets me to think of possibly getting cancer but I do not feel scared at the thought of it, and I do not overall dislike cancer, in fact oncology is something I take interest in. So does my not wanting it and occasional worry of cancer still constitute as a fear? Does the sheer fact that once diagnosed I would no longer have that worry make it also not count as a fear? I DON'T KNOW.
So far none of this pondering has let me settle on if my presented fears (rejection, losing loved ones, etc) are actually fears, nor have I concluded on what exactly a fear is. Fear is confusing, that's what. Not to mention many are irrational, or so I think--however, rational in the fact that some incidents cause people to fear certain things...i.e. almost drowning makes fear of water=rational. What are your thoughts? Do you have any fears? Why do you fear said things?
In my last moments of typing this I just realized... (strange I could forget) that I do in fact have one fear. One that does scare me. One that does make me shudder. One that has caused me to cry in class numerous times. Induces panic attacks. One that will leave me trembling for hours before and about 30 minutes to an hour afterwards. Public Speaking.
Though I think why that was so far off from my mind is because in college I have been forced to face it. Not to mention the only reason (my rationale) I started fearing it in the first place is now put behind me... and I'm no longer as self-loathing and self conscious like I once was. I get nervous and I still tremble after. But I no longer cry, though I did last year in my speech class. I still have the feeling of impending doom when a teacher so much as mouths the words oral presentation.
S, I don't know.
The fearless has met her match. Public speaking is really just the public display of the web of insecurities/"fears" I have. So therefore, the act of public speaking itself is my actual fear more so than that which fuels the fear of it (rejection/failure/physical insecurities)....if that makes sense..
I have a presentation this semester in eng 200. we'll see how far I've come since speech.
wow this blog took a weird turn, eh?
blah. but seriously folks. Give me some answers. What is fear? what are your fears? why do we fear?
i don't know...
My roommate says one reason she fears spiders is because some of them can kill you. This perplexes me. Can't anything kill you? YOU can kill you. Your body itself (if not helped out by outward factors or diseases) eventually kills you, so why not fear oneself? Anything and everything can kill you but it is not logical to fear everything, so why narrow it down to a creature who would rather hide from you than bite you?
If you're wondering, this has nothing to do with spiders, I just want to get to the bottom of what exactly a fear is... or at least understand if I have one or why people have them in the first place..
I know some people say they fear rejection. I don't question that as being a legit fear, but I question if we are overusing the term fear sometimes. Like I don't want to be rejected and it is something I do worry about but when I come face to face with rejection I usually just brush it off... the moments leading up to it is the worst part but I don't care afterward. It also doesn't scare the wits out of me, so does that mean it is a dislike more so than a fear?
I say I fear losing my loved ones. I fear what it will be like when they're gone...yet it is not something that I think about all the time, it is not something that terrifies me, nor is it something that comes straight to mind when thinking of death and/or fears.. I have to search to find it. It's something I don't want to happen and I dread happening but is it a legitimate fear or just something of inevitability that I just don't want happening? Fear is often considered irrational is it not? We are not automatically born with fear, it is learned. Seeing that losing a loved one is inevitable and is a rational thing to not want to happen does that too cancel it from being a fear? (keep in mind we are not talking about phobias.. just FEARS).
Do you have to be physically scared to make it a fear? or are fears just a bunch of worries and dislikes? The term fear can be used in place of worry.. so maybe that is truly all fear is. If so then I am no longer fearless, I'm chock full of fears. Let's consult dictionary.com..
"
–noun
| 1. | a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. |
| 2. | a specific instance of or propensity for such a feeling: an abnormal fear of heights. |
| 3. | concern or anxiety; solicitude: a fear for someone's safety. |
| 4. | reverential awe, esp. toward God. |
| 5. | that which causes a feeling of being afraid; that of which a person is afraid: Cancer is a common fear. |
"
All of these imply (with the small exception of numbers 3 & 4) the presence of feeling afraid or danger. I do not feel that when I think of the things I "fear". Not quite sure why number 2 is an abnormal fear of heights, what is the normal fear of it? Number 5 says cancer is a common fear... I do not want cancer, it upsets me to think of possibly getting cancer but I do not feel scared at the thought of it, and I do not overall dislike cancer, in fact oncology is something I take interest in. So does my not wanting it and occasional worry of cancer still constitute as a fear? Does the sheer fact that once diagnosed I would no longer have that worry make it also not count as a fear? I DON'T KNOW.
So far none of this pondering has let me settle on if my presented fears (rejection, losing loved ones, etc) are actually fears, nor have I concluded on what exactly a fear is. Fear is confusing, that's what. Not to mention many are irrational, or so I think--however, rational in the fact that some incidents cause people to fear certain things...i.e. almost drowning makes fear of water=rational. What are your thoughts? Do you have any fears? Why do you fear said things?
In my last moments of typing this I just realized... (strange I could forget) that I do in fact have one fear. One that does scare me. One that does make me shudder. One that has caused me to cry in class numerous times. Induces panic attacks. One that will leave me trembling for hours before and about 30 minutes to an hour afterwards. Public Speaking.
Though I think why that was so far off from my mind is because in college I have been forced to face it. Not to mention the only reason (my rationale) I started fearing it in the first place is now put behind me... and I'm no longer as self-loathing and self conscious like I once was. I get nervous and I still tremble after. But I no longer cry, though I did last year in my speech class. I still have the feeling of impending doom when a teacher so much as mouths the words oral presentation.
S, I don't know.
The fearless has met her match. Public speaking is really just the public display of the web of insecurities/"fears" I have. So therefore, the act of public speaking itself is my actual fear more so than that which fuels the fear of it (rejection/failure/physical insecurities)....if that makes sense..
I have a presentation this semester in eng 200. we'll see how far I've come since speech.
wow this blog took a weird turn, eh?
blah. but seriously folks. Give me some answers. What is fear? what are your fears? why do we fear?
i don't know...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Gotta get away from me..
and maybe you.. but who knows.. I'll find out soon enough.
When I state that, I say it as I'm going on a journey to rejuvenate myself. I want to push out these new found attributes and bring back my old, good qualities.
-cut out all swearing
-re-open my heart to open love (temporarily been shut off due to some trauma)
-stop being so hard on myself..learn to love all of me..
there's much more but those are the main things..
I've noticed these qualities expose themselves and they're making me dislike myself even more.
I'm on the brink of depression, I can tell.. sure I laugh, sure I can still smile... but I've become so apathetic and numb to everything.. to the point that it's,,,well it's quite heart-breaking. I've tried so hard to never fall into that rut again and somehow I'm right outside of it again. I'm not sure what's causing it... but i think it's someone... or at least I know some things with them have led me to start thinking differently again, despite their best efforts... some of their actions have pushed me in a negative manner. I've gotta fix that particular section of my life with them and hopefully that'll help..
I don't want to head towards the dark again. I dislike it so much.
I guess this isn't so much a blog rather than some goals and a reminder to myself to keep on track.
Hopefully, soon I will have a good long blog. I want to pour my heart out on the page in some philosophical spiel that will open the eyes of anyone who reads it. Something to intrigue the mind. But before I can do so, I've got to get some of the clutter out of my mind that is blocking my thoughts.. as well as finish my Trig homework.. lol..
with that, I bid you, or really me, adieu
When I state that, I say it as I'm going on a journey to rejuvenate myself. I want to push out these new found attributes and bring back my old, good qualities.
-cut out all swearing
-re-open my heart to open love (temporarily been shut off due to some trauma)
-stop being so hard on myself..learn to love all of me..
there's much more but those are the main things..
I've noticed these qualities expose themselves and they're making me dislike myself even more.
I'm on the brink of depression, I can tell.. sure I laugh, sure I can still smile... but I've become so apathetic and numb to everything.. to the point that it's,,,well it's quite heart-breaking. I've tried so hard to never fall into that rut again and somehow I'm right outside of it again. I'm not sure what's causing it... but i think it's someone... or at least I know some things with them have led me to start thinking differently again, despite their best efforts... some of their actions have pushed me in a negative manner. I've gotta fix that particular section of my life with them and hopefully that'll help..
I don't want to head towards the dark again. I dislike it so much.
I guess this isn't so much a blog rather than some goals and a reminder to myself to keep on track.
Hopefully, soon I will have a good long blog. I want to pour my heart out on the page in some philosophical spiel that will open the eyes of anyone who reads it. Something to intrigue the mind. But before I can do so, I've got to get some of the clutter out of my mind that is blocking my thoughts.. as well as finish my Trig homework.. lol..
with that, I bid you, or really me, adieu
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I blame Austin.
Because now I'm gonna talk about things that i think are beautiful. A happy blog to follow the slightly melancholy blog I finished a few minutes ago.
-----
I am a constant preacher of that which is beauty. I try to make it apparent to all those in contact with me, that we should all respect the beauty of others and everything in our world.
I've never understood how someone could pick at someone's appearence or the likes or dislikes of something. How people could pick at someones personality. But it's human to err and I respect that.
Something we all should know, is we are ALL beautiful.
You may not think the girl to your left is pretty, but to someone else she is, and even then, that does not mean she is not beautiful.
Beautiful is not only in appearance. It's in action. It's in simplicity. It's in a feeling.
Love is beautiful. Not just a couples love, a family's love, a father's love, a friend's love, a dog's love, a grandfather's love.. etc
Innocence is beautiful.
Simplicity is beautiful.
The broken are beautiful.
The courageous are beautiful.
Everything, everyone, is beautiful.
This chair to my right is beautiful. I mean it. It has a crack running across where you sit. It gives it character. Though you may not see it, I bet a photographer could show you it's beauty just by the corruption of an angle.
A child holding a father's hand is beautiful.
The penny on the ground, that has touched the lives of so many people, yea I still think it's beautiful.
The guy in your class that is extremely obnoxious, is beautiful. Trust me.. he may be annoying but there beauty with in him.
Beauty is joy.
Beauty is laughter.
The ability to express one's feelings... is beautiful.
gahhh i could go on forever.. and this isn't even well constructed. It's just a ramble. but I don't care. You know why? Because it's my beautifully unstructured, random blog, on beauty..that I would've wrote eventually but felt the urge to because Austin wrote one..
so yea I blame him. But that's okaybecause He and his blog are/is/was beautiful.
And so is anyone reading this.
and blah blah blah beauty.
I challenge you to seriously take a stroll outside and really look around. Look at all the things you normally look past. Look at people, think about their life story. Look at the ground you step on. Look at the candy wrapper on the ground. Look at the bird searching for worms and really think about it. Everything is beautiful. Knowing that will make everything more enjoyable.
With that, I bid you farewell, I have a paper to write on time management.. *hopefully* my teacher will think my paper is beautiful too..
-----
I am a constant preacher of that which is beauty. I try to make it apparent to all those in contact with me, that we should all respect the beauty of others and everything in our world.
I've never understood how someone could pick at someone's appearence or the likes or dislikes of something. How people could pick at someones personality. But it's human to err and I respect that.
Something we all should know, is we are ALL beautiful.
You may not think the girl to your left is pretty, but to someone else she is, and even then, that does not mean she is not beautiful.
Beautiful is not only in appearance. It's in action. It's in simplicity. It's in a feeling.
Love is beautiful. Not just a couples love, a family's love, a father's love, a friend's love, a dog's love, a grandfather's love.. etc
Innocence is beautiful.
Simplicity is beautiful.
The broken are beautiful.
The courageous are beautiful.
Everything, everyone, is beautiful.
This chair to my right is beautiful. I mean it. It has a crack running across where you sit. It gives it character. Though you may not see it, I bet a photographer could show you it's beauty just by the corruption of an angle.
A child holding a father's hand is beautiful.
The penny on the ground, that has touched the lives of so many people, yea I still think it's beautiful.
The guy in your class that is extremely obnoxious, is beautiful. Trust me.. he may be annoying but there beauty with in him.
Beauty is joy.
Beauty is laughter.
The ability to express one's feelings... is beautiful.
gahhh i could go on forever.. and this isn't even well constructed. It's just a ramble. but I don't care. You know why? Because it's my beautifully unstructured, random blog, on beauty..that I would've wrote eventually but felt the urge to because Austin wrote one..
so yea I blame him. But that's okaybecause He and his blog are/is/was beautiful.
And so is anyone reading this.
and blah blah blah beauty.
I challenge you to seriously take a stroll outside and really look around. Look at all the things you normally look past. Look at people, think about their life story. Look at the ground you step on. Look at the candy wrapper on the ground. Look at the bird searching for worms and really think about it. Everything is beautiful. Knowing that will make everything more enjoyable.
With that, I bid you farewell, I have a paper to write on time management.. *hopefully* my teacher will think my paper is beautiful too..
Im in a indie music mood today..
A girl drowning in her own thoughts; Her hands barely break the surface..
She's no angel, but she stumbles on her clipped wings and tattered spirit..
The perils seems endless, but the journey is still on..
--------------
Do you ever just want to get away? I don't mean take a drive or one of those midnight walks where the wind chills your face and numbs your pain. I mean really get away. Like a whole other dimension. Jump straight into a book, skip across the words and dive right into some other life?
Let the troubles slip away, be them simple or extreme.. left to taunt the barren ground of the life you just left..
hm.. just a question, just a thought.
Too bad we can't, even for just a few hours. Though I think we have a mediocre way of doing that.. I believe its called.. vacation..
or sometimes it's an asylum..
ya know, whatever floats your boat.
I don't have a boating license so.. I'm just out of luck I suppose..
Hm. So, now what? A rant? I splash of emotion as I spill out my thoughts about my stupid dilemma? I think not.
I think I'll just get a bit scatter brained.. maybe give a little wisdom here or there. Maybe not. Maybe I'll just discuss something completely pointless, but still something to think about.
I don't know what to expect of this blog. But I'm just gonna go with it..
--
So, I started this blog last night, but didn't want to be up all night typing my heart out and not get enough sleep...because I'd then procrastinate on a paper I needed to type...
and guess whhhatttt?!
I STILL haven't started my paper.. despite my efforts. Now I'm procrastinating even more.
but anyway onward with the blogging..
--
I question our species a lot. We are a sad species, are we not?
Think about it.
- We are the ONLY species that kills the STRONGEST rather than weakest (i.e. wolves attack the slower weaker or younger animals..so both groups can still survive).
-We are the ONLY species to kill TRULY for sport of it.
-We are the ONLY species to truly abuse our intelligence
-We think we're so much better than others that we even start attacking our own species if they don't meet our certain criteria (beauty, money, etc).
Well i guess more or less I question the morale of society rather than the actual species but still, you get the point. -- I started this blog forever ago and I'm trying to finish it so I just typed out some points, sorry that this blog is so scattered.
-----
So, I started this blog last semester (and as you can see from the above sentence) I am finishing it today. I want to continue the original beginning of the blog, not the rant about society. I can do that any time, haha. I swear I am an optimist.. I just have my moments where I must rant.
But seriously, who hasn't wanted to get away from it all. Seriously away. Just stop time for a while..
Take it slow, slower than slow. Literally a break from life. Just walk in the calm. It would be amazing.
Maybe take a trip back to childhood. Become carefree again, back when school or work didn't consume you. Back when the worst part of your day was a scraped knee or a shortened recess.
I think our bodies try to create this little synapse in life for us to fall into and take a break. It's like when you go through your day and life passes you by, you sit in class but take absolutely nothing in. It's like you did all your work but you were never there. It's like your mind can't take it anymore so it takes all that you are somewhere in the depths of your soul, and even you can't find the way out. Have you ever felt like that? It doesn't exactly feel good.
In ,it's a slight numb and empty feeling. You feel like you've lost yourself, you are stuck in a lull and everything else is moving around you. But then later (who knows how long it takes) you suddenly come back. You're you. It's like your mind let you relax, while your body did the work, then you come back refreshed.
Has that ever happened to you? You just feel *off*, not *yourself*.. and it hurts.. and then eventually, for no reason, you feel fine again.. sure with the coming back of yourself you may cry or sit and question why, but you are back to yourself again... and feeling a lot better.
I don't know, maybe I'm just full of crap and want to make an explanation to why that happens. But it seems logical. You detach yourself only in the end to feel yourself more.
hm. lol
She's no angel, but she stumbles on her clipped wings and tattered spirit..
The perils seems endless, but the journey is still on..
--------------
Do you ever just want to get away? I don't mean take a drive or one of those midnight walks where the wind chills your face and numbs your pain. I mean really get away. Like a whole other dimension. Jump straight into a book, skip across the words and dive right into some other life?
Let the troubles slip away, be them simple or extreme.. left to taunt the barren ground of the life you just left..
hm.. just a question, just a thought.
Too bad we can't, even for just a few hours. Though I think we have a mediocre way of doing that.. I believe its called.. vacation..
or sometimes it's an asylum..
ya know, whatever floats your boat.
I don't have a boating license so.. I'm just out of luck I suppose..
Hm. So, now what? A rant? I splash of emotion as I spill out my thoughts about my stupid dilemma? I think not.
I think I'll just get a bit scatter brained.. maybe give a little wisdom here or there. Maybe not. Maybe I'll just discuss something completely pointless, but still something to think about.
I don't know what to expect of this blog. But I'm just gonna go with it..
--
So, I started this blog last night, but didn't want to be up all night typing my heart out and not get enough sleep...because I'd then procrastinate on a paper I needed to type...
and guess whhhatttt?!
I STILL haven't started my paper.. despite my efforts. Now I'm procrastinating even more.
but anyway onward with the blogging..
--
I question our species a lot. We are a sad species, are we not?
Think about it.
- We are the ONLY species that kills the STRONGEST rather than weakest (i.e. wolves attack the slower weaker or younger animals..so both groups can still survive).
-We are the ONLY species to kill TRULY for sport of it.
-We are the ONLY species to truly abuse our intelligence
-We think we're so much better than others that we even start attacking our own species if they don't meet our certain criteria (beauty, money, etc).
Well i guess more or less I question the morale of society rather than the actual species but still, you get the point. -- I started this blog forever ago and I'm trying to finish it so I just typed out some points, sorry that this blog is so scattered.
-----
So, I started this blog last semester (and as you can see from the above sentence) I am finishing it today. I want to continue the original beginning of the blog, not the rant about society. I can do that any time, haha. I swear I am an optimist.. I just have my moments where I must rant.
But seriously, who hasn't wanted to get away from it all. Seriously away. Just stop time for a while..
Take it slow, slower than slow. Literally a break from life. Just walk in the calm. It would be amazing.
Maybe take a trip back to childhood. Become carefree again, back when school or work didn't consume you. Back when the worst part of your day was a scraped knee or a shortened recess.
I think our bodies try to create this little synapse in life for us to fall into and take a break. It's like when you go through your day and life passes you by, you sit in class but take absolutely nothing in. It's like you did all your work but you were never there. It's like your mind can't take it anymore so it takes all that you are somewhere in the depths of your soul, and even you can't find the way out. Have you ever felt like that? It doesn't exactly feel good.
In ,it's a slight numb and empty feeling. You feel like you've lost yourself, you are stuck in a lull and everything else is moving around you. But then later (who knows how long it takes) you suddenly come back. You're you. It's like your mind let you relax, while your body did the work, then you come back refreshed.
Has that ever happened to you? You just feel *off*, not *yourself*.. and it hurts.. and then eventually, for no reason, you feel fine again.. sure with the coming back of yourself you may cry or sit and question why, but you are back to yourself again... and feeling a lot better.
I don't know, maybe I'm just full of crap and want to make an explanation to why that happens. But it seems logical. You detach yourself only in the end to feel yourself more.
hm. lol
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
simple question.. but first.. let me explain..
I have recently befriended some wicked awesome guys that I will lovingly refer to as the 1306 guys.
well. My roommate Allie and I usually hang out with them a few times a week and.. yea..
they have this habit of making lots of ethnic, cultural, religious jokes (keep in mind, JOKES)..
and I don't normally mind, because I know they don't mean anything by it.. and I just usually don't make those jokes as a matter of not offending another. Unless it be in a very satirical manner.
anyway..
I have been in question, on if one of them was racist. Just do to the excessive number of jokes made.. though I still choose to believe he is not.
and I was questioning my roommate and she was like "i don't know, ask him. does it bother you?" And quite frankly, yes it does, and I told her that "I am not one to shove my opinions down others throats (though I will voice them), but there are some things that everyone should accept" that I think are common sense, that society seems to over look. something that should be accepted by all... example being racial differences. Hell I don't even think of people as a separate race, it's the human race.. a black pug and a tan pug are still PUGS correct? still DOGS correct? Genetically speaking, there are fewer differences between "races" than there are between a male and female. Even then, the difference is negligible.
She is not offended by the sense of racism given off by our friends (who really are great guys, don't get me wrong), yet if one of them were to make a joke against atheism or homosexuality, she would get gravely offended.
Now tell me.... How is that any different than someone disliking someone based off of skin pigmentation? Sexual preference... Religious preference..
She claims open-mindedness, but is so close-minded towards other things.
Now i did not make that point I only said what I quoted.
well. My roommate Allie and I usually hang out with them a few times a week and.. yea..
they have this habit of making lots of ethnic, cultural, religious jokes (keep in mind, JOKES)..
and I don't normally mind, because I know they don't mean anything by it.. and I just usually don't make those jokes as a matter of not offending another. Unless it be in a very satirical manner.
anyway..
I have been in question, on if one of them was racist. Just do to the excessive number of jokes made.. though I still choose to believe he is not.
and I was questioning my roommate and she was like "i don't know, ask him. does it bother you?" And quite frankly, yes it does, and I told her that "I am not one to shove my opinions down others throats (though I will voice them), but there are some things that everyone should accept" that I think are common sense, that society seems to over look. something that should be accepted by all... example being racial differences. Hell I don't even think of people as a separate race, it's the human race.. a black pug and a tan pug are still PUGS correct? still DOGS correct? Genetically speaking, there are fewer differences between "races" than there are between a male and female. Even then, the difference is negligible.
She is not offended by the sense of racism given off by our friends (who really are great guys, don't get me wrong), yet if one of them were to make a joke against atheism or homosexuality, she would get gravely offended.
Now tell me.... How is that any different than someone disliking someone based off of skin pigmentation? Sexual preference... Religious preference..
She claims open-mindedness, but is so close-minded towards other things.
Now i did not make that point I only said what I quoted.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
And the thoughts just spill..
They fall from their neat stacks within my mind, through my fingers and onto the page. No particular order, in fact.. it's usually chaotic. I can't help it, I've always lacked organization skills..
but here I go again..
Sex. Yes... I said it. Rather..I typed it. SEX.
Seems to be a major topic in today's society, no? The media uses it to gather attention, mass majority of our 18 and under use it as a manner of recreational fun (claiming it as love rather than lust), it's for sale by human trafficers, it's all over the internet to entertain the minds of all those searching for only the pleasures of an illusion...no strings attached.
Am I saying sex is bad? No! Of course not. All I'm saying is it's lost it's meaning. It's being over exploited.
What happened to sharing yourself with one person. When did sex turn into JUST fun and games? It's had a negative affect on society (rape, porn addiction, human trafficking, self-esteem destruction, increased abortion..etc) and still we continue to abuse it. This is not to say that sex cannot be fun, I do not mean to knock what happens intimately, rather the value of the act itself.
The human body is a temple of love. One that is sacred and shouldn't be tossed around like a toy. It is not right to objectify people...to demean their value to solely something to sleep with.
We had a speaker come to Morehead and he talked about violence and sexual assault but one thing he said (quoted from another) that caught my attention was this:
"
Treating an object like a person is true to. Like porn or even a "harmless" poster (i.e. woman in a bikini), it creates falsehoods of something real. It gives you expectations you may never reach. You also lack that feeling of commitment. I find it very off-putting to enter a guy or girls room and see half naked men or women scattered amongst the walls. I understand to an extent the point of such...but I feel it destroys all that is beautiful about our bodies and our minds. I've heard that as an excuse, they find the person beautiful... well then aren't they just as beautiful clothed? You have simply reduced this person to eye candy. They have no value other than to further your own self gratification. On the other hand, such people pose for said posters and items in knowing that they are being promoted simply for their attraction rather than something of greater value.
Treating a person as a person is justice; aren't we all people? Shouldn't we all equally get the same amount of respect as you give any other person?
and the last one is self explanatory and can be furthered with the idea of putting one before yourself is love.
anyways..
I had more to say but I just spent a lot on that subject and can't think of my other topics I wanted to cover! ugh.. I will continue this later I promise.. i usually don't but I really had more I wanted to say on other topics...
but here I go again..
Sex. Yes... I said it. Rather..I typed it. SEX.
Seems to be a major topic in today's society, no? The media uses it to gather attention, mass majority of our 18 and under use it as a manner of recreational fun (claiming it as love rather than lust), it's for sale by human trafficers, it's all over the internet to entertain the minds of all those searching for only the pleasures of an illusion...no strings attached.
Am I saying sex is bad? No! Of course not. All I'm saying is it's lost it's meaning. It's being over exploited.
What happened to sharing yourself with one person. When did sex turn into JUST fun and games? It's had a negative affect on society (rape, porn addiction, human trafficking, self-esteem destruction, increased abortion..etc) and still we continue to abuse it. This is not to say that sex cannot be fun, I do not mean to knock what happens intimately, rather the value of the act itself.
The human body is a temple of love. One that is sacred and shouldn't be tossed around like a toy. It is not right to objectify people...to demean their value to solely something to sleep with.
We had a speaker come to Morehead and he talked about violence and sexual assault but one thing he said (quoted from another) that caught my attention was this:
"
- To treat a person as if they're an object is violence.
- To treat a object as a person is illusion.
- To treat a person as a person is justice.
- To treat a person as you would your-self is love."
Treating an object like a person is true to. Like porn or even a "harmless" poster (i.e. woman in a bikini), it creates falsehoods of something real. It gives you expectations you may never reach. You also lack that feeling of commitment. I find it very off-putting to enter a guy or girls room and see half naked men or women scattered amongst the walls. I understand to an extent the point of such...but I feel it destroys all that is beautiful about our bodies and our minds. I've heard that as an excuse, they find the person beautiful... well then aren't they just as beautiful clothed? You have simply reduced this person to eye candy. They have no value other than to further your own self gratification. On the other hand, such people pose for said posters and items in knowing that they are being promoted simply for their attraction rather than something of greater value.
Treating a person as a person is justice; aren't we all people? Shouldn't we all equally get the same amount of respect as you give any other person?
and the last one is self explanatory and can be furthered with the idea of putting one before yourself is love.
anyways..
I had more to say but I just spent a lot on that subject and can't think of my other topics I wanted to cover! ugh.. I will continue this later I promise.. i usually don't but I really had more I wanted to say on other topics...
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Would you ever read the end of a book first?
Apparently my mother would, and that bugs me. Knowing what will happen ruins the element of surprise. It's not the same as reading a book then watching the movie about the book because there are almost always differences and it's just bringing the book alive. This came up because mom read a blog on this tv episode and knew everything that was gonna happen and I said its like reading the end of a book first and she said she'd do that...It's like having a friend quote a movie word for word and tell u every single part... then you going and watching it.. kinda lol
This brings me to the question that I've been asked many times.."If it were possible, would you like to know when/how you're going to die?"
I say no. Can you imagine, knowing that you're gonna die by idk.. a car wreck.. then, knowing that, you'd try to avoid it. But of course, your avoidance would most likely be what leads to your demise. I know many people who would say yes, but why? So they can avoid it? You can't avoid death, it's inevitable. Maybe they just want to know how long they've got? Idk, the only benefit from that would be maybe some would finally live their life the way they should, but really you shouldn't have to be motivated just to force you to run your life in a good manner. hmm..
anyways lol..
I've been thinking a lot about life recently (as you can tell since this is my second or third blog on it in the past month). It's been triggered through the recent deaths of those around me. It urges me to take a good look at myself and know if I am who I want to be, If I'm doing what I should, and If I'll be that person that has affected many, that my death will leave an impact on someone. I have a lot to work on, but I overall am satisfied with how I lead my life.
to be cont..
This brings me to the question that I've been asked many times.."If it were possible, would you like to know when/how you're going to die?"
I say no. Can you imagine, knowing that you're gonna die by idk.. a car wreck.. then, knowing that, you'd try to avoid it. But of course, your avoidance would most likely be what leads to your demise. I know many people who would say yes, but why? So they can avoid it? You can't avoid death, it's inevitable. Maybe they just want to know how long they've got? Idk, the only benefit from that would be maybe some would finally live their life the way they should, but really you shouldn't have to be motivated just to force you to run your life in a good manner. hmm..
anyways lol..
I've been thinking a lot about life recently (as you can tell since this is my second or third blog on it in the past month). It's been triggered through the recent deaths of those around me. It urges me to take a good look at myself and know if I am who I want to be, If I'm doing what I should, and If I'll be that person that has affected many, that my death will leave an impact on someone. I have a lot to work on, but I overall am satisfied with how I lead my life.
to be cont..
Monday, June 30, 2008
She knows shes more than just a little misunderstood..
I've been on a "Counting Crows Kick" for the past week, not sure why, I downloaded a bunch of their stuff and I keep listening to em. I suppose this kick has been pushed into place because of 94.9 playing "Round here" a lot lately.
That has nothing to do with this blog but whatever. Hm smells like charcoal outside :) and the sky looks wicked awesome right now, despite the low number of stars visible.. it looks so neat all dark and stuff lol. If i could I'd sleep outside, but it rained on our furniture outside :(...
okay.. on to my point of the bloggage..
I just finished watching "The Mist" (Based off of Stephen King Novel). Interesting, though most of his works are. Anyway, the end was rather tragic, here's a little break down of the plot, and whats causing me to write the blog:
Huge storm, tree busts window in an artists house. After storm they notice a mist on the lake... but ignore it. He tells his wife he'll go to store and get supplies to fix window, does with his son and neighbor. While shopping, mist spreads. Lock down in store. Monsters in the mist. Crazy 'jim jones--im a prophet' lady convinces people its god's wrath and many become deranged. At one point they kill a man who they blamed for the whole wrath god; they stabbed him and fed him to the monsters, while he was still alive. 9 people try to escape (including artist and son) but the crazy lady has people against them...she gets killed and 8 of the nine get out. once out they retreat to vehicle--except in process 3 get killed.. Artist realizes his wife is dead, they try to escape the mist. Ends up they run outta gas.. and they know they're gonna die. Artist has gun, 4 bullets, five people in car. He kills all including his son (who made him promise He'd never let the monsters get him). Then all he wants to do is die. But the mist clears minutes after the incident. Tragic.
Yea, it's much better than I described. though I so thought in the beginning (because i knew there'd be monsters) I thought they'd come from his paintings..
Anyway, it got me thinking of how someone could kill someone. How could they kill that innocent man, or even live knowing that you convinced people an innocent man needed to die a slow painful death???
I can't even fathom that kind of hate or insanity. I've had friends ask if I've ever thought of killing someone, and when I said no, they found it abnormal? I don't think it's abnormal that I have no urge to know what that's like. There is no reason to kill. There are always better ways around things. Like war. War is dumb. Don't get me wrong, I greatly respect the courage of our soldiers who are out there putting their lives out on the line for our freedom and for the "good of the nation", but isn't there a better way? Is shooting someone really helping? I know that at this point, maybe we're in too deep. We as a species have accepted war. I just think that there should be a better way.
I mean, have you ever really thought about it? Like.. when someone dies... they're gone. I mean I believe in heaven, hell and all that stuff. But I'm just saying, they aren't here like physically no matter what you believe. You just ended that person's life..
what reason is good enough to kill..?
hm? tell me one, I'd like to know.. unless it's self-defense. I understand that.
All these thoughts pose the argument for capital punishment too. hm.
to be cont.
That has nothing to do with this blog but whatever. Hm smells like charcoal outside :) and the sky looks wicked awesome right now, despite the low number of stars visible.. it looks so neat all dark and stuff lol. If i could I'd sleep outside, but it rained on our furniture outside :(...
okay.. on to my point of the bloggage..
I just finished watching "The Mist" (Based off of Stephen King Novel). Interesting, though most of his works are. Anyway, the end was rather tragic, here's a little break down of the plot, and whats causing me to write the blog:
Huge storm, tree busts window in an artists house. After storm they notice a mist on the lake... but ignore it. He tells his wife he'll go to store and get supplies to fix window, does with his son and neighbor. While shopping, mist spreads. Lock down in store. Monsters in the mist. Crazy 'jim jones--im a prophet' lady convinces people its god's wrath and many become deranged. At one point they kill a man who they blamed for the whole wrath god; they stabbed him and fed him to the monsters, while he was still alive. 9 people try to escape (including artist and son) but the crazy lady has people against them...she gets killed and 8 of the nine get out. once out they retreat to vehicle--except in process 3 get killed.. Artist realizes his wife is dead, they try to escape the mist. Ends up they run outta gas.. and they know they're gonna die. Artist has gun, 4 bullets, five people in car. He kills all including his son (who made him promise He'd never let the monsters get him). Then all he wants to do is die. But the mist clears minutes after the incident. Tragic.
Yea, it's much better than I described. though I so thought in the beginning (because i knew there'd be monsters) I thought they'd come from his paintings..
Anyway, it got me thinking of how someone could kill someone. How could they kill that innocent man, or even live knowing that you convinced people an innocent man needed to die a slow painful death???
I can't even fathom that kind of hate or insanity. I've had friends ask if I've ever thought of killing someone, and when I said no, they found it abnormal? I don't think it's abnormal that I have no urge to know what that's like. There is no reason to kill. There are always better ways around things. Like war. War is dumb. Don't get me wrong, I greatly respect the courage of our soldiers who are out there putting their lives out on the line for our freedom and for the "good of the nation", but isn't there a better way? Is shooting someone really helping? I know that at this point, maybe we're in too deep. We as a species have accepted war. I just think that there should be a better way.
I mean, have you ever really thought about it? Like.. when someone dies... they're gone. I mean I believe in heaven, hell and all that stuff. But I'm just saying, they aren't here like physically no matter what you believe. You just ended that person's life..
what reason is good enough to kill..?
hm? tell me one, I'd like to know.. unless it's self-defense. I understand that.
All these thoughts pose the argument for capital punishment too. hm.
to be cont.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
all my blogs
seem to be a rant. I apologize, but there is so much for me to say.
With that said..here I go again.
Fictitious characters trudging through our vast world, dragging their feet, fabricating lies with every step. Fictitious characters who get caught up in multiple falsehood's that they create in order to please everyone in their lives so that they can soak up as much attention as possible.
Sadly, that is what much of our society has been molded into. I have lost one of my best friend's to the darkness of a material, attention-based world.
I know too many people who care more about how they appear to people, than who they actually are. When they're around their "goody-goody" friends, they act as if they could do no wrong. They befriend "the wrong crowd" and act as though they've lived on the street for years. They lose themselves in the lies and convince themselves that everything they lied about is true. A jack of all the wrong trades.
It makes me sad to see so many people fall to this fate.
to be cont...
With that said..here I go again.
Fictitious characters trudging through our vast world, dragging their feet, fabricating lies with every step. Fictitious characters who get caught up in multiple falsehood's that they create in order to please everyone in their lives so that they can soak up as much attention as possible.
Sadly, that is what much of our society has been molded into. I have lost one of my best friend's to the darkness of a material, attention-based world.
I know too many people who care more about how they appear to people, than who they actually are. When they're around their "goody-goody" friends, they act as if they could do no wrong. They befriend "the wrong crowd" and act as though they've lived on the street for years. They lose themselves in the lies and convince themselves that everything they lied about is true. A jack of all the wrong trades.
It makes me sad to see so many people fall to this fate.
to be cont...
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
okay
Im about to get my senior pics taken.
and its like.. i am second guessing my outfits lol... i hate that. i always do this.
anyway, today is gonna be funnnnnnnn. or so I hope. I get to go to game night at the youth group! an my BFF fo sho is hopefully coming, as well as jake --now thats a whole other topic that i dont even wanna get into. so it'll either rock or its gonna go over horribly.. but since it's the youth group...it should rock lol.
woot!
and its like.. i am second guessing my outfits lol... i hate that. i always do this.
anyway, today is gonna be funnnnnnnn. or so I hope. I get to go to game night at the youth group! an my BFF fo sho is hopefully coming, as well as jake --now thats a whole other topic that i dont even wanna get into. so it'll either rock or its gonna go over horribly.. but since it's the youth group...it should rock lol.
woot!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
First blog of the new year...(longest blog EVER)
I have a song attached to this blog :D just cuz i like it and its one of the very few acoustic songs that Breaking Benjamin has.
Anyway, I'm probably going to sound a bit like a broken record here because I'm sure I've blogged something similar to this before but...I'm going to blog it again gosh dang-it!
In this blog:
1. Arguing
2. Why do people get upset so easily?
3. "Til death do us part" in explanation to the Mormons that came to my house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ARGUING
On a "short" note, my brother and his girlfriend woke me up with their arguing this morning. The whole fight was over name calling and it was so petty but my brother made an excellent point. He apparently said something that made her mad and she called him a dick and he apologized but she didn't and it escalated. My brother made this point (to understand it better you'd need to know all that happened but i don't want to disperse his whole argument)... He has the horrible tendency to cuss a lot, and he said "if you ask anyone who knows me if i have a 'potty mouth' they will say yes. But if I asked anyone if you had a 'potty mouth' then not a single person would say yes, in fact they'd all find it shocking, so when you called me a name, it really hurt. (she still wasn't getting it) You know why? Because you calling someone a bad name is like Jesus calling someone a Mother F____er". I thought that was like funny, but it's completely true.. and after that the argument basically was over. Although, this does not excuse any name calling on my brother's behalf--whether he curses a lot or not.
My friend Jeremy always has little debates with me but they are always over something really ridiculous and for the most part its just a joking argument and is rather fun. Over the weekend, Sunday to be precise, He told me he was thinking about the Chaos Theory. In other words, the Butterfly Effect (a butterfly in Brazil flaps it's wings and causes a tornado in Texas). He just randomly brought it up and asked if I believed in it, and I said I didn't because I don't think that a butterfly simply flapping it's wings would create such a difference in air pressure that it could cause a tornado. That set him off. We began arguing over a 4 hour span. I could really give a hoot. I had no inclination to talk about let alone argue about the Chaos Theory. He began challenging me on something I knew little about, and was not prepared to argue for. Me stating that I am unsure on my stance on the theory does not imply that I do not agree with aspects of the theory, I understand that nature has many chaotic events. However, I have never researched the mathematical basis behind this theory, therefore I would rather inform myself before ever caring to argue. For all I know, I may actually agree with the theory--unfortunately, I don't know enough on the topic. He kept giving examples that were in little relevance to the theory as well. For example he said "I quit my last job because my paycheck had been messed up, later I found out that the check number was wrong..what are the chances of that...and now I work here, had that not happened I would've never been here" I told him, well obviously had that not happened you wouldn't be here, life is a bunch of untold stories, it's obvious logic that if you do one thing then something will happen and if you were to do something different instead then there would potentially be a different outcome. I believe that his example was only partial to the theory and i told him that and he got mad and would not accept the fact that I do not completely agree with a theory. In my opinion, i think that it's okay to debate but if one person does not have any motivation or support for the argument then why should you force your ideals on them? I asked him to stop THREE times because i was getting upset (he wouldn't consider my opinion or lack there of....plus arguing makes me want to cry). He didn't stop until I refused to respond.
Can you tell me if you think he went to far? In argument, he referred to me as a B word and stated all I do is shoot him down... because I was not willing to argue about something I know little about. I asked him that day the following day why he wouldn't stop and he said because he likes questioning the theory and his life. He was not questioning and I told him that, he was trying to persuade me. His response was "Don't you want to know why you are here" to which "I already know why I'm here.." "That's bull crap."
Nice huh? FUN DAY AT WORK.
Why Do People Get Upset So Easily?
Picture this:
A woman with a cart, filled with snacks & a birthday cake (as well as other stuff). She walks to my register and begins to unload her stuff, rather happily.
Me: Hello!
Woman: Hi :D
Me: How are you? Do you Have a Remke Card?
Woman: Not with me but you can look it up. Oh and do you sell Vodka here?
Me: No, but they do across the street. (woman tells me her info and I look up her card)
*end of order*
Me: your total is 94.78
Woman: I'm going to write this for $10 over.
Me: Um... Ma'am do you have your Remke card visibly with you, otherwise you can't.
Woman: Even with ID?
Me: No it's our policy. It's just for the customer's protection.
Woman: Well that's absolute bull Sh*t. --talks to manager--comes back-- you might as well delete me from your system, I'll never be back. If it wasn't my daughter's birthday then I'd just leave all of this here and you could put it all back. --talks to manager and writes name and number on paper--
Me: Have a good night.
Woman: *storms off*
Seriously? Why get so mad? There's an ATM outside... she also was going to go buy vodka, so she'd have the opportunity to get money back there if they allow it. It's not my fault. And guess what? She came through my line again today, haha.
Another incident --worse-- happen to my friend while she was working. The up coming week had a sale for coke 12pks 3 for 9 dollars, but this week there was no sale on coke at all. A man comes through her line with three coke 12pks. She rings him up an says "Your total is $15.10" The man gets slightly annoyed an says "Aren't those supposed to be nine dollars?? She replies "no they aren't on sale....." Then the man becomes enraged and slams the coke down and gets in the cashier's face and says "THIS IS RIDICULOUS! IT'S F***ING STUPID! YOU CAN TAKE YOUR F***ING COKE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR F***ING @$! SCREW YOU!" then proceeds to march out of store.
It's not our fault that the coke wasn't on sale and that he read the wrong ad...
I think it's pathetic to get so annoyed over such a small thing.
TIL DEATH DO US PART
Recently, I have had some Mormon missionaries visit my house. I stood with them, talked and actually gave them my number and what not --though i had no intention to convert, I just thought they were nice and even though I am of a different religion, I believe what they are doing is good (don't be afraid to share your faith and take criticism. The only problem is now they wont leave me alone no matter how much I say I am happy with St.Paul. Anyway, that's a different topic.
The first day that they came to my house they said something that struck me that I never really thought about, and that is the saying "Til death do us part" at a Catholic (as well as other religions under Christianity) wedding. Elder McCaleb said the following: "I don't know much about St.Paul but it is a church under some form of Christianity right? (Catholic) Well I'm sure you are familiar with a traditional Christian or Catholic wedding? (yes) Then you have heard the words 'Til death do us part', correct? (yes) Well I for one do not want death to separate me from my wife. I want to be with her forever, wouldn't you want to be with your family and your husband forever? (yes) I don't want death to be the end of that relationship.." then he continued to say that Mormons are unique to the fact that when they die they aren't separated from their family..blah blah blah..
At the time I was like wow he's right, I don't want to be separated from my Husband and kids.. then it came to me ( a second after that thought), well that's not what they mean by that saying anyway! So, after they left I sat down and thought about that saying for a while debating with myself responses that I could have said and should have said to the Mormons, to not only stick up for my own beliefs and religion but also to further his knowledge (because I don't believe he knows much of other religions plus he was close to my age. So here is my explanation.
Marriage is the union of two souls, two people who want to spend their lives growing old together, two best friends who chose one another forever. In the traditional ceremony of marriage, the couple is asked, when stating their love to say the phrase (or some variation) "I take you _____, to be my lawfully wedded ______, to have and to hold, in richer or for poor, in sickness and in health, til death do us part" , This is supposed to be an expression --in words-- that they will stay faithful, work through the obstacles with each other and want to be with each other forever. As I stated before, Marriage is the union of two souls. Death is only for the physical. Death is what happens to the body. But if you believe in any kind of afterlife you already know this, souls live on, our bodies are left behind and we are formed anew in heaven--"to be absent from the body (is to be) at home with the Lord" (2 Cor. 5:8). There is nothing (that I've read) in the bible that states "you will not see or be with your family in heaven", nor do I believe that God will for some reason not "allow" us to be near our loved ones. Heaven is nothing like how it is on earth, so therefore even if you are with your family, the love is different. When you are in heaven your love for God should overwhelm all that you feel for another human being... I kinda lost my train of thought because a friend came over while I was reminicing about this topic.. but as you can see from what I have stated, that when we say "til death do us part" we do not mean that we only want to be with each other 'til we die, we mean that since we are making this pledge while we are living on earth we will stay together until we die. Oh one more statement I'd like to add, people usually do not die at the same time, so the statement also makes sense there, because you have to part if your partner dies before you, but of course you will still be with them forever.. It doesn't mean that you should convert just because of one little line that is said in a wedding ceremony (and for the most part many people make up what they say now).
Anyway, I'm probably going to sound a bit like a broken record here because I'm sure I've blogged something similar to this before but...I'm going to blog it again gosh dang-it!
In this blog:
1. Arguing
2. Why do people get upset so easily?
3. "Til death do us part" in explanation to the Mormons that came to my house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ARGUING
On a "short" note, my brother and his girlfriend woke me up with their arguing this morning. The whole fight was over name calling and it was so petty but my brother made an excellent point. He apparently said something that made her mad and she called him a dick and he apologized but she didn't and it escalated. My brother made this point (to understand it better you'd need to know all that happened but i don't want to disperse his whole argument)... He has the horrible tendency to cuss a lot, and he said "if you ask anyone who knows me if i have a 'potty mouth' they will say yes. But if I asked anyone if you had a 'potty mouth' then not a single person would say yes, in fact they'd all find it shocking, so when you called me a name, it really hurt. (she still wasn't getting it) You know why? Because you calling someone a bad name is like Jesus calling someone a Mother F____er". I thought that was like funny, but it's completely true.. and after that the argument basically was over. Although, this does not excuse any name calling on my brother's behalf--whether he curses a lot or not.
My friend Jeremy always has little debates with me but they are always over something really ridiculous and for the most part its just a joking argument and is rather fun. Over the weekend, Sunday to be precise, He told me he was thinking about the Chaos Theory. In other words, the Butterfly Effect (a butterfly in Brazil flaps it's wings and causes a tornado in Texas). He just randomly brought it up and asked if I believed in it, and I said I didn't because I don't think that a butterfly simply flapping it's wings would create such a difference in air pressure that it could cause a tornado. That set him off. We began arguing over a 4 hour span. I could really give a hoot. I had no inclination to talk about let alone argue about the Chaos Theory. He began challenging me on something I knew little about, and was not prepared to argue for. Me stating that I am unsure on my stance on the theory does not imply that I do not agree with aspects of the theory, I understand that nature has many chaotic events. However, I have never researched the mathematical basis behind this theory, therefore I would rather inform myself before ever caring to argue. For all I know, I may actually agree with the theory--unfortunately, I don't know enough on the topic. He kept giving examples that were in little relevance to the theory as well. For example he said "I quit my last job because my paycheck had been messed up, later I found out that the check number was wrong..what are the chances of that...and now I work here, had that not happened I would've never been here" I told him, well obviously had that not happened you wouldn't be here, life is a bunch of untold stories, it's obvious logic that if you do one thing then something will happen and if you were to do something different instead then there would potentially be a different outcome. I believe that his example was only partial to the theory and i told him that and he got mad and would not accept the fact that I do not completely agree with a theory. In my opinion, i think that it's okay to debate but if one person does not have any motivation or support for the argument then why should you force your ideals on them? I asked him to stop THREE times because i was getting upset (he wouldn't consider my opinion or lack there of....plus arguing makes me want to cry). He didn't stop until I refused to respond.
Can you tell me if you think he went to far? In argument, he referred to me as a B word and stated all I do is shoot him down... because I was not willing to argue about something I know little about. I asked him that day the following day why he wouldn't stop and he said because he likes questioning the theory and his life. He was not questioning and I told him that, he was trying to persuade me. His response was "Don't you want to know why you are here" to which "I already know why I'm here.." "That's bull crap."
Nice huh? FUN DAY AT WORK.
Why Do People Get Upset So Easily?
Picture this:
A woman with a cart, filled with snacks & a birthday cake (as well as other stuff). She walks to my register and begins to unload her stuff, rather happily.
Me: Hello!
Woman: Hi :D
Me: How are you? Do you Have a Remke Card?
Woman: Not with me but you can look it up. Oh and do you sell Vodka here?
Me: No, but they do across the street. (woman tells me her info and I look up her card)
*end of order*
Me: your total is 94.78
Woman: I'm going to write this for $10 over.
Me: Um... Ma'am do you have your Remke card visibly with you, otherwise you can't.
Woman: Even with ID?
Me: No it's our policy. It's just for the customer's protection.
Woman: Well that's absolute bull Sh*t. --talks to manager--comes back-- you might as well delete me from your system, I'll never be back. If it wasn't my daughter's birthday then I'd just leave all of this here and you could put it all back. --talks to manager and writes name and number on paper--
Me: Have a good night.
Woman: *storms off*
Seriously? Why get so mad? There's an ATM outside... she also was going to go buy vodka, so she'd have the opportunity to get money back there if they allow it. It's not my fault. And guess what? She came through my line again today, haha.
Another incident --worse-- happen to my friend while she was working. The up coming week had a sale for coke 12pks 3 for 9 dollars, but this week there was no sale on coke at all. A man comes through her line with three coke 12pks. She rings him up an says "Your total is $15.10" The man gets slightly annoyed an says "Aren't those supposed to be nine dollars?? She replies "no they aren't on sale....." Then the man becomes enraged and slams the coke down and gets in the cashier's face and says "THIS IS RIDICULOUS! IT'S F***ING STUPID! YOU CAN TAKE YOUR F***ING COKE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR F***ING @$! SCREW YOU!" then proceeds to march out of store.
It's not our fault that the coke wasn't on sale and that he read the wrong ad...
I think it's pathetic to get so annoyed over such a small thing.
TIL DEATH DO US PART
Recently, I have had some Mormon missionaries visit my house. I stood with them, talked and actually gave them my number and what not --though i had no intention to convert, I just thought they were nice and even though I am of a different religion, I believe what they are doing is good (don't be afraid to share your faith and take criticism. The only problem is now they wont leave me alone no matter how much I say I am happy with St.Paul. Anyway, that's a different topic.
The first day that they came to my house they said something that struck me that I never really thought about, and that is the saying "Til death do us part" at a Catholic (as well as other religions under Christianity) wedding. Elder McCaleb said the following: "I don't know much about St.Paul but it is a church under some form of Christianity right? (Catholic) Well I'm sure you are familiar with a traditional Christian or Catholic wedding? (yes) Then you have heard the words 'Til death do us part', correct? (yes) Well I for one do not want death to separate me from my wife. I want to be with her forever, wouldn't you want to be with your family and your husband forever? (yes) I don't want death to be the end of that relationship.." then he continued to say that Mormons are unique to the fact that when they die they aren't separated from their family..blah blah blah..
At the time I was like wow he's right, I don't want to be separated from my Husband and kids.. then it came to me ( a second after that thought), well that's not what they mean by that saying anyway! So, after they left I sat down and thought about that saying for a while debating with myself responses that I could have said and should have said to the Mormons, to not only stick up for my own beliefs and religion but also to further his knowledge (because I don't believe he knows much of other religions plus he was close to my age. So here is my explanation.
Marriage is the union of two souls, two people who want to spend their lives growing old together, two best friends who chose one another forever. In the traditional ceremony of marriage, the couple is asked, when stating their love to say the phrase (or some variation) "I take you _____, to be my lawfully wedded ______, to have and to hold, in richer or for poor, in sickness and in health, til death do us part" , This is supposed to be an expression --in words-- that they will stay faithful, work through the obstacles with each other and want to be with each other forever. As I stated before, Marriage is the union of two souls. Death is only for the physical. Death is what happens to the body. But if you believe in any kind of afterlife you already know this, souls live on, our bodies are left behind and we are formed anew in heaven--"to be absent from the body (is to be) at home with the Lord" (2 Cor. 5:8). There is nothing (that I've read) in the bible that states "you will not see or be with your family in heaven", nor do I believe that God will for some reason not "allow" us to be near our loved ones. Heaven is nothing like how it is on earth, so therefore even if you are with your family, the love is different. When you are in heaven your love for God should overwhelm all that you feel for another human being... I kinda lost my train of thought because a friend came over while I was reminicing about this topic.. but as you can see from what I have stated, that when we say "til death do us part" we do not mean that we only want to be with each other 'til we die, we mean that since we are making this pledge while we are living on earth we will stay together until we die. Oh one more statement I'd like to add, people usually do not die at the same time, so the statement also makes sense there, because you have to part if your partner dies before you, but of course you will still be with them forever.. It doesn't mean that you should convert just because of one little line that is said in a wedding ceremony (and for the most part many people make up what they say now).
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